I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Dignity is for republicans.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
