This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
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