i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Send help, water and tortillas.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
