I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
