This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
