if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
COCAINE IS GR8
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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