When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Less talking, more tequila
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
