New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
