I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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