Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
