i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
