We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
