420 ftw
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
