Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
