Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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