Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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