come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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