Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
