he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
