finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
