I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
