I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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