I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
