Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
