super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
