my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
