Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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