dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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