I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
