i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
