I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
