you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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