i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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