so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
