You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
