Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
