So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
