just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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