actually, I'm a sock model
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
