i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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