I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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