Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
we're so committed to being not committed
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
