Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
