went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
