thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
