All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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