I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
