Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
