He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
