If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
