once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
