It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
It was confusing and full of hummus
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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